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I keep getting offers to do porn. Isn’t that hilarious? And I keep getting numbers when I do coat check. It’s flattering. I have been feeling more confident lately. I need to keep on track with my push-ups, and I need to really kick myself in the ass and get into the gym regularly so that I can have toned arms when I get my sleeve in May. I got a $1.50/hr raise at work today. I’m back to being a supervisor; my “trial period” (since Starbucks wouldn’t give me a reference) is over with. I’m going to be working mornings now instead of evenings because my boss thinks I have the best morning personality and most congenial attitude of any of the supervisors. Hey, I’ll take compliments where I can get them, as oddly put (and likely untrue) as they are. I have Columbia, Columbia, Columbia on the mind, though. If I don’t get into the program, I am going to apply to CUNY schools for winter or whenever the soonest time comes around. I am not working food service anymore. I do not mind my job, but I am not doing it in the long-run. I am so glad I freaked out about Starbucks. I imagine if I was still there, an assistant manager at a store. I would be locked in position with so many expectations on me. Things really do happen for a reason. I have the biggest hand of fate in my life, whether I believe in that sort of thing or not. Everything, no matter how chaotic and negative it seems at first, works out for the better in my life. Any comments on the newest draft of my admissions essay, completed 15 minutes ago? I changed the ending around; I think the transition to needing college is better fleshed out now. filed under: misc | comments: Leave a commentLine and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed:
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I’m assuming this is an essay for admission to the undergrad program and that they wanted something personal? Pretty damn good job, I’d say, but then again I used to teach remedial English at a Louisiana university so, uh, this is so far beyond that as to make my opinion almost useless.
I would pay attention to the changes suggested in the previous comment as tightening up the little things often makes an essay pop. Go through the whole thing and maybe take out some of the wordier words. Sure, you want to prove a vocabulary but you don’t necessarily need to fancy it up.
I’d also suggest that you start off spending the night in the train station. Because these guys read so many essays you want to grab them right away. Conceivably EVERYONE applying to Columbia started off in a train station or plane station or some sort. But I’d venture most of them didn’t spend a night in Penn Station. Sure, you can backtrack and explain how you made the decision to get there, but as in everything in life, it’s best to grab ‘em by the balls and don’t let go. It also makes the transition of applying to Columbia seem a little more drastic.
There I was in the bowels of Penn Station, trying to sleep despite a lifetime’s worth of fear instilled in me about the dangers of New York. I’d wanted to break free of a sleepy life, of the rigid college-track, AP-course life I’d built for myself. I guess I had. Certainly, I done such a good job of escaping that it would never have occurred to me that one year, two jobs, three apartments, later I’d be applying to Columbia.
Just a suggestion.
And good luck.
Comment by Ken — February 16, 2006 @ 12:19 pm