All Forms Lately.

I e-filed my taxes tonight. 1040EZ. I don’t know what the big deal is; it was free and fairly simple. I get 535 bucks back, which is not a lot, but it covers one of the sittings for my sleeve in a couple of months.

Did you know Tompkins Square has a library? I didn’t until I went form-searching today and found out that post offices don’t carry them anymore.

My life has been all forms lately. I’m in the midst of the FAFSA process, too. I can’t do it yet because I’m waiting for my Federal Education PIN to come via email. I didn’t know it was such a complex process.

School starts September 5, which means I’ll probably quit my job in August and visit home for a couple of weeks. Well, I mean if I am quitting. I don’t know if I will be able to because it’s all dependent on whether I get enough money from the school. I might have to cut back to two days a week or so. I really want to quit food service for good when I start school, but I don’t know what other starting level job will give me 10.50/hr. We shall see.

(Nojobnojobnojobpleasepleaseplease)


filed under: misc | comments: 4 comments

I GOT IN!

I’ve had a lot of great things happen in the past weeks, but today was the topper. Today, I got the most amazing call saying…

I GOT INTO COLUMBIA!!!

I’m going to be an Ivy Leaguer, baby!


filed under: misc | comments: 21 comments

Roads.



YOUtube: Portishead ‘Roads’ (live)

This has always been, and will always be, one of my favorite songs. Such a place in my heart.

I’ve got nobody on my side / and surely that ain’t right


filed under: misc | comments: 2 comments

Sports Night.

I just cried my eyes out watching Sports Night, the best show that no one saw. My roommate rented the two seasons from his store, and I watched all of Season 1 in the past three days. It’s witty, fast-paced, dialogue-driven … everything I like about a show, and I have no interest in sports whatsoever. It features some of the best actors working today–Felicity Huffman, Peter Krause, Josh Charles (well, I didn’t appreciate him until this), Robert Guillaume, Sabrina Lloyd–in captivating performances. It is everything a good TV show should be, so of course it didn’t last. (Arrested Development, anyone?)

Peter’s character, Casey, had a moment with his young son that killed me. The son was embarassed that he couldn’t play baseball–you know, with a sports jock father and all–and so he lied about how he played to please Casey. As his son visited him at work, Casey found out about the lies and led the boy silently to a quiet office and, after great pause, said:

“You were worried you might embarass me. Man. There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind that you’re my son. And you can’t even blame me, ’cause Grandpa started it. And I have a hunch his dad was no picnic, either. So, Charlie, I am nipping this in the bud right now. Pay close attention. In this lifetime, you will never embarass me. It’s not gonna happen. You play baseball if you want to play baseball, and the only thing you have to do to make me and your mom happy is come home at the end of the day. In your lifetime, you’ll never embarass me. You know why? (Charlie shakes his head slightly) ‘Cause I’m your father. Who’d you think I was?”

And it sounds cheesy, and it’s not effective out of context, but I lost it. I lost it. I lost it simply because, well, if anyone ever said that to me when I was young–if I had a father around to say that–I wouldn’t have spent the better part of 20 years worried about exactly that. Children really deserve better. I deserved better. And if I ever have kids, they will have the fullest little hearts on the block.

Anyway, back to the show, is there anything that can stop Felicity Huffman from giving a tour de force performance? I think not. Rent Sports Night; you’ll see what I mean. She’s inhuman.


filed under: misc | comments: 4 comments

Categorically.

I got four bookcases from The Container Store today and installed them all and rearranged my living room. I rearranged my DVDs categorically, not alphabetically. I rearranged the books by height, not by author. I rearranged the placement, filling empty space and opening that which was formerly crowded. I busied my life, filled up my afternoon.

Harrison left at noon. He smiles with his eyes closed. And to keep my day full, to prevent that feeling from going away, I rearranged. I distracted. Tearing away cardboard corner protectors, fitting metal into wood. I pushed and pulled and jammed and screwed.

I am reading Don DeLillo again. I love placement of words, I love syntactically effective phrases, I love a vocabulary that toes the line between intellectual and relatable. I love these things more than anything. I love how intellectual expansion prevents the mind from dwelling on the heart. I love the counterbalance between the two most important parts of a human being.

I feel that oftentimes people stay so intellectually sharp as a result of being such failures in the realm of the heart. Like a blind person may gain acute hearing, like a deaf person can read lips so clearly. Compensation. I wish that was my trick. I wish I was an intellectual powerhouse to make up for my lack of heart.

I wish more people could be blunt in this city, and not in the way that they clearly are, but in the way that they feel. I wish people in this city weren’t all compensating for something, being so fabulous and unsatisfied. I wish people felt the way I do. I wish that you weren’t thinking “They do, everyone feels the way you do.” I wish that I could express how much I care and how special I am and how some things should be cherished and how…

I wish everyone was as awesome as I am. I guess that’s what I mean. Obviously not, but it’s a valid point.


filed under: misc | comments: 5 comments

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about
he was building an imperial self out of some tabloid aspiration (delillo)

twenty two. nyc.





i'm scott anthony. most people know me as a decently cool character. i fix macs all day. i like a lot of things; i'm sure you do, too. shared interests are fine, but i actually make much more fulfilling friendships with people completely different than me. i can easily become a stress case. i love and value people who mellow me out more than anything else. i love new york. i love vibrancy. i love being pulled away from what i supposed was my birthright: my unerring sense of rationality. in fact, as time goes by, i get more and more joy out of the beauty in disarray. if you love life and truly live, i love you and want to know you.


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